Live in Relationship is good or bad ? I just read a blog on Live in Relationship, which very rightly had drawn attention of rediffiland Members and attracted comments . I observed very strong resentment to "live in relationship" and it did not look like due to conservative Indian outlook. I made some comments but was obviously not appreciated because author had kind of made up his mind about How Live in realtionship should be viewed by the Society. " Live in relationship " is an individual choice be it USA,Europe or India . I have no difficulty with two adults deciding to live together with whatever objective/motive they might have. However, the consequences certainly their. Some obviously did not end up very happily and it has gone upto supremem Court. I would not even comment on individual choice,values till some trying to make it an " institution " . Give it any name - it has also not become an Institution in the West. I have some knowledge about USA and I think the Society there too is divided. Bad marriages and broken homes have been used as the reason to justify " Live in relationship" . I do not know why the logic used did sound like one of the former Indian Cricket Team Selector talking about importance of "Match Practice" ,though I do not entirely agree with him.As Match practice is not a substitute for Net practice and Cricketing skills and technique," Live in Relationship " is not a substitute for values, empathy, understanding of others and ability to adjust. It appeared author of the blog did not care to know how many live in relationships culminated in successful marriage, long and happy married life. The conclusion that two good individuals with values stuck with a bad marriage did sound very strange. In the old days, there was arranged marriages and no one ever imagined of "match Practice" prior to Grand Final. I am sure people who think and agree that bad marriages, broken homes or dowry deaths or abuse and exploitation does not make the Institution of Marriage bad or does justify " Live in Relationship" as a precaution to ensure "good marriages or successful marriages". I have known many reasons ( all one can imagine ) for a broken marriage,bad marriages. Some affected persons some times say that he or she did not know the other person. Today , in some recent arranged marriage, I was told the girl flew in to Mumbai to spend about 8 -10 days to get to know each other. It might be "fashionable" ( parents from both sides did talk about it indirectly inhinting that they are a bit more evolved ) but I am not sure about its real utility in knowing each other. I think these are individual choices or judgement with very little scope for generalizing it or making a check list. I believe this the same question most employers face while recruiting people. Inspite of many HR Consultants and Hr Professionals employed by the Corporations, still one finds high rate of attrition ( can we draw a simile with high rate divorce ). The causes may also be similar. I am not an expert,I am not qualified but real life experience says the Unrealistic expectation is at the root cause of both. It certainly needs research and debates with open mind. Another common cause is "There is no rule in this World which says every thing will be to your liking" This unrealistic belief or expectation is the root cause of "disappointments or dissatisfaction " which causes break ups in relationship resulting in divorce or attrition`. Corporate World has used "match parctice" as means to know the prospective employees by having them as trainees or apprentice but nost will agree that the system by itself did not ensure any thing. Similarly match practice ( Live in Relationship ) is not a guarantee for a successful marriage. Also think about the boys and Girls ( I can assure it will mostly girls) who get rejected after a "live in relationship". I read through the blog as well as comments. I did see it pronounced issue - what will happen to the ones get rejected. I also have another suspicion that a rejected case is likely to be rejected again . It is the same mind set we have when the prospective candidate tells that he has been trying for a job but has been rejected. I am sorry, I have seen qualified HR professionals trying to figure out why he or she has been rejected instead concentrating on finding out skills or qualities of a candidate. I am afraid, some will end up as candidates for "shacking up ". I have no difficulty with that too ,it is again a personal choice how he or she wants do with life. I am quite liberal but I have problems with people who want to institutionalize what should really be a purely personal choice. I thought it is probably not correct to debate on some one's blog space. It may not be viewed very kindly and if I insist on my views will attract not so kind comments. There has been some unpleasantness already. I thought let me put my thoughts and views as blog,though may not be read by too many. Let me sum up by saying that there is need to understand the "institution of marriage" and the responsibilities which go with it and have respect. It is imperative that people must have mutual respect and ensure that dignities are not abused. In short if marriages fail or get sour,my personal view is they do not fail due to lack of "match Practice", there are a few dozen reasons and it is not essential to make "match practice" mandatory. Live relationship can stay as individual choices like people make not so legitimate money and even flaunt. I wish them luck ! ***************** © Insignificant idiot, all rights reserved.